With the WWE now churning out more shite, ahem, appreciated content it makes a fan who also happens to blog workload essentially double in size. Meaning that I have to draw the fine line between being able to talk about wrestling online, and actually having a life that doesn’t revolve solely on professional wrestling. What I’m saying here, in a round about way, is whilst I will always have Wrestling related content published on a Monday from now on, whether it be a review on the PPV from the night before or just a general news round up, don’t be expecting predictions for every PPV because honestly, no one has time for that. Especially for the filler PPVs. But as I’m in the middle of overhauling the site and making it more me. I have a cheeky few hours free. So here, just for you, are my predictions for WWE Battleground.
Kickoff Show: Tye Dillinger vs. Aiden English.
I dislike both of these people and their non-existent rivalry. Why are they fighting? Why should I care? I feel like no one can answer these two key questions with an actually valid answer, and as such, my attention span when thinking about these two wrestlers together disappears at rather an impressive pace. So who is going to win? I flipped a coin, the coin says Tye Dillinger.
Winner: Tye Dillinger
SmackDown Tag Team Championship Match: The New Day vs. The Usos.
After the rap battle last week, I’ve warmed to heel Usos’ much more than I ever thought I could, they do actually have a personality underneath the layers of adolescence inspired sulking. However, I think the smart move here would probably be to give the titles back to The New Day and perhaps throw some new meat into the tag team division mix as there’s only so many variations of a feud the creative team can spit out before the crowd turns on everyone involved, and I feel the tolerance for this feud is fading fast.
Winner: The New Day.
Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Baron Corbin
I’m torn here on who I think will win. At first glance, the smart money is on Corbin to build him up for when he finally cashes in his Money in the Bank, however, he is proving himself to be the classic spineless heel, constantly attacking Nakamura from behind, suggesting that like many before him, Corbin is not going to call out the champ for a match at a PPV of his choosing. When Corbin cashes in, it’s going to be after a vicious below the belt beating. But, what would Nakamura gain from a win here? The end of a feud, perhaps, however, it was Corbin who started the attacks so a win for Nakamura would signal that this is just the beginning of a feud here, furthering Corbin further from any title run. I think Nakamura is going to win but by disqualification.
Winner: Shinsuke Nakamura (by DQ)
Fatal 5-Way Elimination Match to Determine No. 1 Contender to the Women’s Title.
I’m not sure why Smackdown seem to want to solve everything by putting every female talent they have into a ring at the same time, but it clearly isn’t working, as this is again, a pretty pointless No. 1 contender’s match that could have been avoided and opened the avenue up for non-title related feuds within the women’s division, thus actually making it an interesting segment for the show. But no, because even though we’ve apparently had this elusive women’s revolution, nothing has really changed in terms of the actual writing for women. Having more women in a single match doesn’t change the fact that there is still only one women’s match an average at a PPV and very little happening outside of the title picture. I want to be excited about the women’s match, I genuinely do, but I’m really struggling. My prediction is Lana, with help from Tamina.
United States Championship Match: AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens
AJ Styles is going to win this. There is no need for Owens to win the title back and drag out this feud. AJ will continue doing the open challenges and frequent my dreams, whereas Owens will go on to be the top antihero of the roster and hopefully onto a WWE Championship run wherein Jericho will come back, have his last ever title run and retire to a ranch like many superstars before him. Either way, it’s clear cut who is going to win here.
Winner: AJ Styles
Flag Match: John Cena vs. Rusev
I swear I’ve sat through a very similar feud with these exact two people before. What do you want me to write here? I can go into a deep analysis of the wrestler’s individual fighting styles and who would most benefit from the win here and how each wrestler’s career would be impacted by the respective win/loss. Or I could tell you what we all fucking know and that is that Cena is winning this because he came back on July 4th and targeted the token heel foreigner.
Punjabi Prison Match for the WWE Championship: Randy Orton vs. Jinder Mahal
My gut feeling here originally was an Orton win, but I started to doubt myself as statistically, Jinder is the stronger opponent here, defeating Orton twice before. While on the face of it, it seems that Singh Brothers have no way to help their champion once inside the Prison, any heel with lackeys worth their salt will find a way to manipulate the situation to their advantage. With Orton’s dad once again seeing the limelight in his son’s feud, perhaps a classic kidnapping is on the card. I think Jinder will win here, through intelligence and cunning over wrestling ability.